"Tron Funkin Blow"

 So yeah, the quote used as the title of this post has absolutely NOTHING to do with Tron, the 1982 neon dripping, ultra futuristic (not really anymore) film we all loved starring Jeff Bridges. Instead it's from one of the funniest scenes in a movie that totally throws you back into the opposite direction of the future, the filthy and sometimes hilarious headbanger past some of us experienced while growing up in the eighties and nineties. I'm talking about mullets, unnecessary acts of stupidity and violence, fire and usually alcohol....lots and lots of alcohol. The film is called Fubar, it's a mockumentary by Michael Dowse about two constantly obliterated and amazingly mulleted Canadian headbangers named Dean and Terry that just look like they were shot out of a cannon filled with Labatt, grease and Camaros, I know that's kind of hard to visualize, but trust me, it's accurate. It's obvious from the start that this is not a real documentary, thanks to the totally unnecessary disclaimer at the beginning of the movie, which makes no kind of sense to me whatsoever. I mean, why put so much effort into making what looks to be a legitimate documentary but then spoil it with a pussy ass disclaimer? It must be legal reasons, I'm sure of it. If someone knows, fill me in, I'm too lazy to research it right now.

There is no complicated storyline here, just hilarity by the kegfull. You follow Dean and Terry around for the entire film, and believe me, it never gets old, no matter how many times you see Dean faceflop into hedges/sidewalks/dirt/whatever, it is fucking funny. The guys basically spend their time doing whatever hockey haired gentlemen wearing nice cutoff shirts would do; get mega wasted, tackle each other, obliterate a bus bench, spray paint, yell vulgar shit at innocent people, litter, talk about the awesome band they will start one day, etc., a typical Saturday night for you and I, but they do it with such pizazz that watching this movie just makes you want to do it every day, not just Saturdays. The best part is that they are "aware" of the camera crew following them around, and the film crew even gets involved...really involved.




I had heard about this movie from my buddy Jeff, so I made it a point to try to get a hold of it by the time he got back into town. As usual, Jeff rarely disappoints on the recommendations and we watched it with a group and we absolutely loved it. I strongly suggest getting shitfaced and watching this with friends; you won't be let down. Make sure you have no snobby pricks in your midst that will dismiss this as a Jackass or CKY ripoff, this movie has very well written characters that are totally believable, if not to you, then you and I are different. And maybe we're different because you're talking to a guy that used to sneak cans of Old Milwaukee with his junior high buddy and draw pentagrams and the number 666 with lighter fluid on the sidewalk before lighting them on fire and shouting with glee through the streets of Hialeah(there's my metalhead past creeping up again), totally giving'r.

Tell us what you really think about Tron!

PS: I've gotten in a lot of movie watchin' this week with Jeff, so stay tuned for a couple more reviews!